Designers have had a torrid love affair with Lorem Ipsum for ages. Actually a lot longer than you could possibly imagine. With roots in classical Latin literature, Lorem Ipsum has been the print industry’s standard dummy text since the 16th century, popularized in the 1960s. It has become the de facto placeholder text in web design, too, used in place of meaningful content during the design phase.

“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”

Huh?

Lorem Ipsum has come a long way since then. Now there are Lorem Ipsum generators that allow designers to be truly creative:

Cupcake Ipsum

“Cupcake ipsum dolor sit. Amet I love liquorice jujubes pudding croissant I love pudding. Apple pie macaroon toffee jujubes pie tart cookie applicake caramels. Halvah macaroon I love lollipop. Wypas I love pudding brownie cheesecake tart jelly-o. Bear claw cookie chocolate bar jujubes toffee.”

 

Zombie Ipsum

“Zombie ipsum reversus ab viral inferno, nam rick grimes malum cerebro. De carne lumbering animata corpora quaeritis. Summus brains sit , morbo vel maleficia? De apocalypsi gorger omero undead survivor dictum mauris. Hi mindless mortuis soulless creaturas, imo evil stalking monstra adventus resi dentevil vultus comedat cerebella viventium.”

 

Huh?

So creative, you designers. Lorem Ipsum any writer would love to drop their little words into. But hey, today (whether you like it or not) content (yeah, that “word” stuff again) is rearing its proud head, leading the way for weary word worriers to come out of hiding. Writers who don’t think content should be pigeonholed into whatever space you deem it to live. Those other creatives, probably just as creative as you, who have an intimate relationship with the power of content. Of telling compelling stories people want to hear. Stories, sometimes short, the you’d like them to be. But stories sometimes bigger than the Lorem Ipsum your designs left them with. If you thought of content as useful, helpful, engaging and relatable…if you understood how the right content could connect to people in ways that earned their trust and loyalty which would ultimately lead to greater engagement and profit. would that change your attitude about Lorem Ipsum? Let’s talk about that.

Slurp, SERPS. Search Engine Results Pages. Getting there” In a word, keywords. Without question, SEO is one of the yummiest topics in content today. Also more complex and changing than Kim or Chloe K’s hair. There’s the tech side, sophisticated algorisms lost in supposed logic, trying to figure out what works. You probably have someone on staff tackling those conundrums. You most likely also have an SEO guru (at least that’s what their resume read) figuring out keywords. Or then there’s always good ol’ Google helping you search for the right keywords to help you shoot up to the top of Google. The problem is that you just might come up with elephantine lists of suggestions that would overstuff any content. OK, so you whittle down to what you believe is a more manageable list of keywords. Then what? What is the keyword rule of thumb? Is two too little? Three too much? Five right on the money? Short-Tail fall short? Mid-Tail a mover? Long-Tail too long?  It’s like the Goldilocks of marketing. When in doubt, just toss them all in. It’s enough to give any writer a case of Copy Tourette Syndrome (CTS). I think I just invented something here. The thing is, no one has actually ever been able to say “these keywords are “jusssst right” with any authority. But before you get into an SEO frenzy that no amount of goat yoga could ease, here’s the key thing to remember; it’s all about writing for humans. You can call them customers, but they are living, breathing, curious, wanting, needing individuals. And if you don’t get ‘em, you’ll never get them. Or their business. Keywords might get them to your site, but with content that’s less than substantial and exceedingly lackluster, they’ll be history in a nanosecond. Nexxxxxttt….

So choose your keywords wisely, and work with a writer who can deliver Google goosebumps.

It’ll pay.

We laugh. We love. We leave. We worry. We yearn. We envy. We need. We think we need. We’re human and we’re amazing. We’ve got hearts that aren’t just there to keep us pumping through life. Those hearts breathe emotional life into everything we think and do. We’re wired with vats of different emotions. Why is it so many advertisers and marketers don’t get it? They talk at us, not to us. They tell us why we desperately need their products or services. Why we should love and cherish their brands above all else. Wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they started a movement called #buymebuymetrymebuymejustbecause assuming it would be a surefire way to get us to whip open our wallets (physical or digital) and spend, spend, spend. Whaaa? Do they really even have a clue? Do they really care about what we like? What we actually want and need that will make our lives easier or more exciting? Truly connecting with someone (aka “target”) means listening. Talking to them in a language they understand. Where they don’t need a translator. Or get a headache from the blah blah blah…aaarrgh… If you truly want to connect with your customers (once you finally figure out who they are) and write content that connects to them on a gut level, you have to reach out and….whoa…I feel an award-winning classic line coming on (one which I worked on with AT&T for many years), you have to Reach Out and Touch Someone. Maybe content needs a little more of that today.

OK, we’re going to do a little exercise here. Get somewhere comfy (preferably not hooked up to any device) close your eyes and repeat…

“I am not my target.”

(Deep and cleansing breath…)

“I am not my target.”

(Don’t stop now…)

“I am not my target.”

What you are, is someone who runs or owns a business or service. You know every little detail about it. It’s your baby. Your life. Your livelihood. You decide you should be getting your message out there. You just don’t know exactly what you should say, or how to say it. More importantly to whom. You’d sort of like your target to be, oh, let’s say most everyone. But as we’ve said, you are not your target. So first you have to decide exactly who your target is. Who would benefit most from what you offer? Who would discover you could deliver exactly what they want and need that would make their lives easier, and yes, even happier. If you’re not on target, you might as well be hitting the snooze button amidst every other message that takes a shot at attempting to communicate to them. (Be wary, some might actually come within listening distance.)

“I am not my target.”

No assumptions, no guesswork. Just hard work trying to determine who your target really is. Which, as we’ve said, is definitely not you.

Let me help you figure out who it really is.

So, where are you going? What does your marketing plan look like? Oh, you don’t have one? Winging it is going to be about as successful as an emu trying to take flight. (Hint: NASA couldn’t get them off the ground.)  Maybe you’ll take the piecemeal approach; try a brochure…a blog maybe…word of mouth…(no words for that one.) Your brother-in law, who happens to be a divorce attorney, claims he can write whatever you need. Free of charge. But believe it when you hear how much it will cost you in lost sales. Or worse, potential sales. Your neighbor thinks you should advertise on bus benches. Look at it all and what you see is humungous Mish and disastrous Mash. What to do? What to do? Try this to get the big picture; imagine getting a drone’s eye view looking down at your business. No one doing anything in that corner. Lots of contagious head-scratching clogging the middle. Is anyone actually doing any of your business on their phone? Is anyone actually sitting down together trying to formulate a plan that creates loyal customers and real revenue for you? What you’re going to see going on is most likely a disaster plan for who knows what.

Success needs a blueprint.

Hiring me to help, would be the beginning of a brilliant strategy.

  1. YOU CAN’T FAKE CREATIVITY.
  2. FERVENTLY AVOID PRESENTATIONS THAT INDUCE NARCOLEPSY.
  3. CLICHÉ HAS ITS OWN ZIPCODE. EVEN UBER WON’T GO THERE.
  4. AIM TO MAKE YOUR BLOGS MORE COMPELLING THAN A GROCERY LIST.
  5. ASSUME BOTTOM LINES DON’T GET ALL FAT AND “KARDASHIAN” BY THEMSELVES.
  6. IT’S HARD TO MAKE A STATEMENT IF THERE’S NOTHING THERE TO SAY.
  7. ADAMENTLY AVOID THE LURE OF MEDIOCRITY.
  8. DESIGN AND COPY SHOULD BE MARRIED, NOT JUST LIVING TOGETHER.
  9. MAKE YOUR IDEAS TITANIC PROOF.
  10. OBSSESIVELY PUSH BOUNDARIES.
  11. THINKING QUO, WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR STATUS.
  12. ELEVATE YOUR EUREKA MOMENTS.
  13. DIMENTIONALIZE YOUR REPERTOIRE.
  14. GIVE YOUR EMOTIONS LIBERAL REIGN.
  15. EVEN IF YOU LOVE IT, IT CAN STILL STINK.
  16. MAALOX AND MACCHIADOS DON’T MIX.

Experience. The kind of experience that means having been there, done that, solved that and won that. Knowing what works, and what doesn’t and how to make it all work. So why do people break into a sweat just hearing the word “experience”? Does it mean old, tired, out of touch? Does it mean stretch pants, and being Pinterest and Twitter free? Obviously, it means Millennials don’t get it. I’ve been told no one wants to work with their mothers. Or give orders to their fathers. And drinks after work? Who do they think invented multi-martini lunches? I’ve seen job reqs online that are looking for executive creative people with two whole years of experience. Two whole years. It would take longer than that just to grow your hair out or lose the pooch you’ve been carrying around, trying everything to lose. Contrary to your beliefs, there is no graveyard where elephants and Boomers go to die. Ok, some facts here. Facts. America’s 75 million Baby Boomers, between the ages of 52 and 70, control about 70 percent of all disposable income in the U.S. according to Nielson.  More stunners; Boomers are set to inherit about $15 trillion dollars over the next 20 years.  With that kind of financial might, analysts expect Baby Boomers will continue to ignite a consumer spending boom over the next several years.  Oh wait, there’s more; women control over $20 Trillion in world-wide spending. Teens spend $258.7 billion each year. Enough to blow up abacuses and algorithms world-wide. Guess who’s had the most experience in learning who all these segments are, where they spend, and how to talk to them in their own language? The folks who have had the most experience dealing with them on their terms. People over 40. Let’s see now…the average waist size for men is 39.7 inches. For women, it’s 37.4. If it helps, think of it this way; is 64-year old Christy Brinkley too old for a Sports Illustrated Cover? Is 71-year old Cher too old for anything? Are freelance writers over 40 really too old to write killer copy and deliver relevant content? Maybe you should redo the math.

You want ordinary? Mundane? Bored-til-they-snore content that’s like trying to get an emu to fly?  Aah…can see that that’s what you usually get from most freelance writers you hire. What would you give to be astounded? Startled? Have your blood pressure edge toward 140/90? My work may make you sweat a little when you see it, but believe me, that’s a condition smart clients would rather see than content that leaves them cold. Let’s start by agreeing that social media is King. Or Queen or LGBT.  But horrors! I’m going to let you mull this one over; we could all use a little more Chatting, and less Snapping. Content unfiltered. Which brings me to an unusual copy conundrum; there are oh, maybe hundreds of words to describe your product or service, so why do most writers unflaggingly cling to the same dozen or so…”better, stronger, wider, bigger, smaller, cheaper”…sound familiar? That’s the safe way of the marketing universe. Safe. But “safe”, doesn’t sit well with me. Safe doesn’t have the confidence to build a business as a unique brand, or the pluck and guts to annihilate the clutter. I’ve never done safe. And I’ve never been sorry. Ditto, my clients. Up for “amazing”?